Abnormality
by Risssuhh
Summary: This is what happens when you're bored with your super best friend.


So, me and Kyle are sitting on his couch, doing nothing but watching some old cooking show. Hell, we don't even know how to cook. The only thing I can make without screwing up is cereal.

At the commercial break, Kyle took a long yawn and said, "We really need lives."  
I nodded in total agreement. "We need entertainment."  
He laughed at that for some reason. "Alright, I'll be right back."

He got up and left the room for about a minute. When he got back, he had a black pernament marker.

I raised an eye brow. "You're not gonna draw a mustache on me, are you?"  
He shook his head. "I got a better idea."  
That frightened me a bit. "What is it?"

Kyle smiled deviously. "Wanna draw faces on our stomaches?"  
I smiled wickedly and started clapping. "Okay!"

We spent about ten minutes drawing our faces perfectly. Once they were done, I chuckled and said, "We should make them talk to each other."  
"Oh my God, we _should!_" Kyle exclaimed.

We sat back down, rolled up our shirts and soon enough, our stomaches were having a lovely conversation.

"Why, hello," Kyle said in a crappy Australian accent.

"Hey tharrr," I replied.

"Do you like banana juice?"  
"I loooove banana juice."  
"That are good."  
"It are."  
"But you know what I _reeeeally _like?"  
"Whaaaat?"  
Kyle took a deep breath. "I LIKE _TACOS!_"

I laughed hysterically. "I am quite fond of those things."  
"I are more fond."  
"No, I are."  
"No, I are."  
"No, you are...not."  
"Yes!"  
"No!"  
"Yes!"  
"No!"  
"Yes!"  
"No!"

"BIRDS AND THE BEES!"  
I blinked. "What?"  
His eyes looked all around. "Uh...birds and the...tacos."  
"Oh."  
"Damn right, girlfraaaand!"

"Oh, you be more right girlfraaand!"  
"Naaaaooo!"  
"Yeeeeee!"

"I fail at everythaaaang, though."  
"Nooo, that is a lie. A _LIE, _I TELL YOU!"  
"Yeah, well, the cake is a lie."

"The cake does NOT lie!"  
"What cake have you been eating?"  
I smiled slyly. "Banana."

"Oh, I lurve you."  
"I lurve you, too."

"But no homo."  
"Oh. Well. Yes homo."  
"Dude, you serious?" Kyle looked at me.

I laughed again. "This are serious business."  
He frowned. "Well, I are serious rage."  
"Oh, I are serious not caring."  
"Oh yeah? Well...I...I get better grades than you!"  
"PFFFFFT!"

"You're so stupid, Cartman."  
"No, I'm seriously!" the fat boy exclaimed. "It's officially illegal for women to have more than five babies."  
"But _why?_" Kenny said.

"Because, it's been proven that if men have sex more than five times, their dicks become swollen and doctors will have to chop it off."  
There was a pause.

"Where the fuck did you hear _that?_" Kenny exclaimed.

"I didn't hear it anywhere," Cartman said, trying to be a smartass. "It's common knowledge."  
"Yeah, no," he said back. "You're just retarded."  
"Well, you're gonna get your dick chopped off!"  
"And you're gonna lose a hundred pounds."

Cartman grunted and continued walking. They were heading towards Kyle's house to play Call Of Duty, since he had just gotten a new plasma screen TV. Once they got there, they knocked but no one answered. Kenny rang the door bell. Still no answer.

"Maybe they're not home?"  
"No, they're hogging it all to theirselves," Cartman muttered. "Faggots."

"Well, let's ram the door down!" Kenny said excitedly.

He looked at Kenny, blankly. "You smoke too much crack."  
Cartman knocked one more time, before realizing that the door was unlocked. They looked at each other before walking in. Not even a step later, they stared horridly at the scene they were encountering.

"...What the hell are you guys doing?"

Kyle and I stopped talking immediantly, and slowly turned our heads towards the two girls that were standing right by the front door.

Cartman was giving them a "What the fuck?" look, and Kenny was giving them a blank look that screamed, "I have no idea what I just saw but I have a feeling I will be explaining it to a therapist some day."  
We looked at each other awkwardly, while slowly rolling our shirts down and laying back on the couch.


End file.
